My tummy hurt so badly right now.. I think it is a combination of laxes and vomiting :-/ God, I'm such a failure! Why can I never learn?

I've been at school today. Two hours and then I had to go home. I had this terrible sickness and my tummy did hurt. When I came home I had to run to the bathroom. I'm sure I was in there for two hours. I had dreadful diarrhoea and I threw up several times. I guess it was about 15-20 times. I vomited until the inside of my stomach turned out, and the only thing that came up was blood and acid. Uhh... I'm so disgusting! When I had a break from throwing up I had an awfull diarrhoea. I took 17 laxes last night and when I came home I also took a clyster.

When I was in there I just wanted to die. I actually wanted to get a cardiac infarction or my gullet to get a rift. I prayed to God that he should take me with him. I found a razor blade and started to cut my artery, but something stoped me. I was laying on the bath-floor in my own vomit and blood. Nasty!!! And I tell u, it was a hell to clean it all up!

When I rose I was really dizzy and hazy. Every part of my body did hurt and my heart was messed up. Why do I abuse myself like this? Why?!? Fucking bitch!!!

Anyway, I'm really sorry to bother u guys with my small problems.

Take care everyone!!

xoxo Nemi

before - after

© Nemi 2002/2003